The Panty Pinata Predictament
by Risknight
Summary: Sheldon crossed a line when he hung Penny's underwear on a telephone line. Now he has to find a way to make amends.


**I have a friend here (won't mention his name *cough* stock2007 *cough*) who keeps pushing for a puppy story. During one of our debates, which consists of me saying "no" and him threatening me with MegaPowers photos, this idea smacked me right in the forehead. The puppy in the pic is my little yorkie/terrier mix, Tohru. She's four months old and absolutely adorable.**

* * *

Sheldon walked into the lobby from the laundry room and came to a stop. He watched Penny move up the stairs, her mail in her hand. In the past five weeks he had seen Penny exactly thirteen times. He had only spoken to her once. He had asked her if she would join him for pizza and Star Wars: A New Hope, and she had said no. Just that. One simple word. For five weeks she had been absent from his life.

It was his own fault. He had crossed a line by hanging her underwear on the telephone line, but at the time, he had been caught up in winning their battle of wills. Seeing Penny fishing for her lingerie from the roof had left him confused. On one hand he was feeling vindicated. He had bested her. On the other hand, there had been a droop to her shoulders, a dullness to her eyes, that left him feeling as if he had disappointed her.

Leonard said he needed to apologize, but when he had finally tried to do so, she had been unwilling to answer the door. He knew she was home, he could smell her vanilla scent, and her shadow was evident under the door. She had refused to answer his knocks.

With a heavy sigh he headed up the stairs slowly. He didn't want to catch up with Penny, and be face to face with the woman who wanted nothing to do with him.

* * *

She was taking a tray of dirty dishes back to the kitchen when the guys walked in. She wasn't sure what they were up to, but she suspected it had something to do with Leonard's crush. They had begun to come in on Tuesdays a month ago, and always sat in her section. She clenched her teeth and gripped her pad tightly as she walked back into the dining area.

She stood beside Raj, since he was the least objectionable of the four. "What can I get you?" she mumbled.

Raj handed her a scrap of paper with his order written on it. She smiled fondly at him and patted his shoulder.

"What can you recommend for a virile man with the urge to ravish your golden body?" Howard asked.

"Chemical castration," she growled.

"I'll have the five cheese quesadillas," he mumbled.

"I'll have the baked chicken," Leonard said with a smile. "You look really nice," he hurried to add.

"Thanks," she said with a forced smile. She took a deep breath and looked at Sheldon.

"Hello, Penny," he said calmly. "How are you today?"

She kept her mouth shut, waiting impatiently. She counted to 16 in her head before Sheldon sighed and looked down at his menu. "I will have the bbq and bacon cheeseburger, with bacon, bbq, cheese, lettuce and tomato on the side."

Penny wrote it down and walked away. She placed their orders and signaled to her boss she needed a break. She slipped through the restaurant and out the doors. She headed over to a bench and sat down with a sigh.

"Penny?"

She closed her eyes and dropped her forehead into her hand. "Please go away. I'm on my break and the last thing I want is to deal with you."

"I simply want to express regret for my behavior of five weeks ago," Sheldon said stiffly. "However, if your cornhusker upbringing makes you incapable of graciously accepting my apology, so be it." He started walking away but froze when he heard a soft sob. He looked back at Penny and was stunned to see her trying to stem tears.

He cautiously walked back toward her. "Penny? What is wrong?"

She jumped up from the bench and raced away, shaking her head. Once again he was left feeling as if he had caused her pain.

"Maybe you should just leave her alone," a high pitched voice said sternly. Sheldon turned to see a tiny blonde standing nearby. She pushed her glasses higher on her nose and glared at him. "Which one are you?" she asked. "The idiot with the crush or the idiot who used to be her friend?"

Sheldon drew himself up to his full height. "I am a theoretical physicist with an IQ of 187. I am as far removed from an idiot as this establishment is from a 5 star restaurant!"

"Idiot friend," the woman said with certainty. "Okay, genius, here's the deal. Penny is my friend. I care about her. The last thing she needs is another Kurt in her like. So how about you make everyone's life a little easier? Leave her alone. Find a new focus for your pettiness."

Sheldon had spent years maintaining a calm and controlled life. However, at the moment his Texas temper was getting the better of him. "I am nothing Like Penny's meat headed ex. Nor am I petty. I don't know who you are…"

"Bernadette," the young woman interrupted.

Sheldon ignored her and continued, albeit a bit louder. "…but you do not know the situation."

"You threw her clothes out your window and onto a phone line. Why? Because she touched your onion ring? You expect everyone to live by your rules, but do you ever consider someone else's feelings? Her butt hole ex used to do crap like that to her all the time. She brought home a stray puppy from work once and he tossed all her shoes on the lawn and poured motor oil over them. Then he dropped the pup off at the pound and had it euthanized. She got home an hour late from work one night because there was a call off. She found her closet empty. Kurt had bagged everything up and thrown it into a dumpster. He never told her where." Bernadette uncrossed her arms and shook her head at him. "She got enough abuse from him to last a lifetime. She doesn't need it from you, too."

Sheldon flinched as Bernadette walked away. Slowly he sat down on the bench Penny had abandoned. He was deep in thought when the guys came looking for him. Leonard had his food in a take away container, but he wasn't hungry anymore.

* * *

One Week Later

Penny was pumicing her feet when he knocked. She sighed heavily and thought about just ignoring him. She had to admit that she was lonely, though. She hadn't spoken to anyone outside work in days. All her girlfriends had busy lives, and she just didn't have the energy to go partying. She stood finally, when he began a second round of knocks.

She pulled open the door quickly. "What do you want, Sheldon?"

He twitched slightly from the anger in her voice. "Hello, Penny. I have something for you."

She glanced at the picnic basket in his hands briefly. "I'm not hungry."

"It is not for consumption," he responded. "May I come in? Please?"

After a second Penny stepped aside and let him in. "Whatever it is, just set it down on the table. I'm not looking for company."

Sheldon gingerly set the basket on the coffee table and turned to face her. "As you know, I am not fond of gift giving," he said calmly. "However, I have made an exception in your case. On two conditions. One, you allow me to clean your apartment once a week. I would prefer to do it on Saturdays, that way we can spend the morning together. Two, You allow me to come over on the evenings you are working late to check up on the gift."

Penny ran a hand through her hair. "Sheldon what the hell are you talking about?!"

He opened his mouth to speak, but a soft whimper interrupted him. Penny's eyes widened and she looked at the basket. Sheldon stepped back a little and lifted the lid. Penny's eyes widened and she stepped forward when a wet little nose poked over the top rim. She reached into the basket and gently lifted the little ball of fur. She brought the puppy to her chest and ran gentle fingers down it's back.

"He's part Yorkie, part wire hair terrier," Sheldon said with a smile. "He's approximately 3 months old, and has received his first round of shots and worming medicine. I have refrained from naming him, since he is your pet." Sheldon twitched slightly. "Although it is my opinion that Krypto is an acceptable name for a pet."

Penny looked up at Sheldon with confusion. "You got me a dog? Why?"

Sheldon looked at her sincerely. "I am sorry for hurting you, Penny. I allowed myself to get carried away. Please forgive me."

Penny's eyes filled with tears and Sheldon's shoulders drooped. He was certain he had failed to make amends. That's why he was stunned when Penny suddenly wrapped one arm around his neck, drawing him down for a tight hug.

"Thank you," she said with a little sob. "I love him!"

Sheldon relaxed and awkwardly hugged her back. "I am glad," he murmured.

* * *

Leonard, Howard and Raj sat down at the kitchen counter and opened the pizza box. They watched Sheldon slip on his jacket and put his wallet in his pocket. He nodded to them and left the apartment with a smile.

"So, how are things going between Penny and Sheldon?" asked Raj.

"They spend almost every evening together," Leonard said wistfully. "They walk Krypto, come home, have dinner and then do god knows what."

Howard grinned lasciviously. "I can imagine what they're doing."

Leonard shook his head, reaching for a slice. "I don't think so. In fact, I'm not even sure they realize they're dating."

Howard shook his head. "What a waste."

"I don't know," Raj said around a mouthful of pepperoni. "I think it's kind of romantic. Of course, that raises the question of who will realize it first."

The three men looked at each other with amusement. They could just imagine the blow up that would cause.

* * *

Sheldon watched as Krypto chased the butterfly nearby. Penny held out the bag of red vines she had brought along and he took one. He glanced at Penny shyly before clearing his throat. "Penny, I was wondering if you had a timeline in mind for us?"

She looked at him with confusion. "Timeline? For what?"

He faced her fully. "For our relationship. I have been content to allow things to progress slowly, but I must admit I am curious as to what our next step will be and when it will begin."

Penny's head snapped around to face him. "Relationship?" she squeaked. "You and me?"

He looked at her with exasperation. "Penny, we spend all our free time with one another. We routinely exchange messages while apart. I am uncomfortable without your presence. You are always happy to see me. You no longer seem to have any interest in other men. That sounds like a relationship to me."

Penny stared at him for several minutes without speaking. Her mind raced as she considered the implications of what he was saying. A relationship with Sheldon? Why wasn't he freaking out? More importantly, why wasn't she? They couldn't date! They'd kill each other!

Then again, she realized, they hadn't so far. In fact, they had gotten along surprisingly well these last four months. He was right about how happy she usually was to see him. They did just about everything outside of work together. They were always a team for Halo. They cleaned and did laundry together. They ate together. They always walked Krypto together. Heck, they even scheduled their shopping together!

There was only one big hurdle, she realized. Penny licked her lips lightly and took a deep breath. She leaned in and kissed Sheldon without warning. He froze for a second before slowly leaning into the kiss. Butterflies erupted in her stomach and she pulled away.

He continued to watch her carefully. "Is this our next step?" he asked hopefully.

She shook her head as if to clear it. "Are you really okay with this?"

He nodded. "Penny, I have been under the assumption that we are a couple for 11 weeks, ever since we spent the weekend together at the sci-fi convention."

"We spent it with the guys, too. Are they part of this relationship?"

Sheldon looked at her condescendingly. "Leonard, Howard and Raj spent half the convention together, or on their own. Only you and I spent the entire weekend together. We even shared a hotel room."

"We had separate beds," Penny reminded him.

"We still slept in it together," he insisted. "I do not share a room with anyone willingly. Except you."

She thought hard about what he was saying. She had to admit that with her, Sheldon was different. He did things for her, or with her, that he didn't do with anyone else. She trusted him like no one else. She tried to imagine what life would be like without him in it. It felt bleak and unappealing.

"Okay," she said finally. "But we're going to need some ground rules."

He shook his head. "I do not see why. We have not had any ground rules up to this point."

Her jaw dropped. "You, Doctor Sheldon Lee Cooper, Ph. D., the man who schedules his bathroom visits, doesn't want ground rules?"

"Penny, Penny, Penny," he said with a smile, "You are incapable of following rules. Besides, you bring out my whimsical side."

"Okay, who are you and what did you do with my Sheldon?" she asked with a smile.

He leaned down and kissed her like she had kissed him. "Your Sheldon? I like that."

Penny couldn't help grinning. "You know, I like it too," she answered softly. "Let's go home."

Sheldon stood and called to the puppy. Krypto raced over and jumped around their feet. She attached his leash and took the hand Sheldon held out. They walked back toward the apartment stopping occasionally to exchange another kiss.


End file.
